Lots Coming Up Soon

Having a little hiatus for health reasons, I’m good just recuperating from medicines that didn’t quite work for my body very well. There’s much coming up beginning in a month. Firstly I will be putting a call out for my ‘Being Human In Lockdown’ exhibition to see where people are at a year on. This…

The Unfinished Piece

I have been working on a particular painting since 2016. It began with a deep feeling but no idea where the piece was heading. I just knew something needed expressing. There wasn’t a knowing about anything just in the moment experiencing of an emotional world. The painting has been through many stages. I would engage…

Meaning Making

Today I was wonderfully reminded of a quote that was incorporated in an earlier post In Search of Meaning (ii), it still resonates deeply and was a delight to read once more. It is still as pertinent to this creative journey I am undertaking, so much so I wanted to share it once again. “The…

Music

Finally a breakthrough 🤲 After five years of not connecting with music properly something has truly shifted. Music was always a go to within, a place to feel and find voice for the inner world. Since diagnosis of MS in 2015 I had always thought that this loss of interest or connection to music was…

Covid-19 Experience

Pre Virus As you will know from previous posts I have been undergoing treatment with a chemotherapy tablet, this means that I have been sheilding. It has been 16 weeks now (4 whole months). I began ‘quarantining’ off my own back early in March (official lockdown began on the 23rd) The Virus Unbeknown to me…

Life Lessons

THE GRACE IN BEING HUMAN The Beginning Of What Felt Like The End “Ashes” a song by by Celine Dion https://youtu.be/CX11yw6YL1w It has been 5 years since my life and all of the hopes and dreams I had imagined were blown apart. A diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis and simultaneous relationship and a close friendship (for…

Our Map?

There has been so much that has occurred since the end of last year that has deeply and profoundly affected my heart and being. I don’t want to get into detail for now but it has me thinking about our lives and when we are no longer here. Where is the evidence of our story?…

The Invitation

~ by Oriah Mountain Dreamer ~ It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know  if you will risk looking like a fool for love,…

Being Present

So it is that time of year again. I begin the follow up rounds chemo treatment in November. I feel prepared. This will be the last for a few more years (or at all). It is amazing how treatments for long term immune conditions are improving. I am wondering what it will bring this time…

Thich Nhat Hanh

We want to understand ourselves, the world around us, and what it means to be alive on Earth. We want to discover who we really are, and we want to understand our suffering. Understanding our suffering gives rise to acceptance and love, and this is what determines our quality of life. We all need to…

Identity

I often reflect on the moment in Alice in Wonderland when the caterpillar asks 'who are you?'  It is such a big question. Her reply is "well I'm not sure, I'm not myself you see, I'm not the same person I was when I woke up this morning!" and " How puzzling all these changes are!…

In Search Of Meaning (ii)

Why here? Why now? Why at all? This blog post is more on a personal note than the others. It is more a pulling together of everything to date so I can consciously move forward into a fuller focus and commitment to this work. I hope naturally though that the posts that follow are more…

As You Go Through Life

~by Ella Wheeler Wilcox~ Don’t look for the flaws as you go through life; And even when you find them, It is wise and kind to be somewhat blind And look for the virtue behind them. For the cloudiest night has a hint of light Somewhere in its shadows hiding; It is better by far…

In Search of Meaning (i)

It has been an arduous task trying to define most precisely what I have been aiming towards with this work. I have spent many months in a sort of hibernation, tossing and turning towards understanding my real intention here. This is it. Fundamentally I am searching to understand how each of us make meaning of…

Who Am I?

"But who in the world am I" - Alice In WonderlandIn order to begin exploring the labels that we attach to our sense of identity we must begin by exploring what sense of identity is, asking what is it that 'I' am attached to and the 'stories' given behind that. This is the beginning of…

The Oak Tree

~ by Johnny Ray Ryder Jr ~ A mighty wind blew night and day It stole the oak tree's leaves away Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark Until the oak was tired and stark But still the oak tree held its ground While other trees fell all around The weary wind gave up…

Taking A Step

Very recently a long time friend of mine turned up at the Community Art Studio with the above gifts. A little hand decorated box filled with some shamanic love. I have been lost for words other than thank you for some time. In this past week these have played a beautiful part in preparation for…

D-day

Finally today I begun my chemotherapy treatment. It has been a long time in the waiting, many hurdles none of my own making however the day has been and gone the first two pills taken. I have not been one for medicines as previously mentioned but I just have to believe this will make a…

Love

~ by Jeff Foster ~ Love is not a feeling. If love were a feeling, it would come and go, like in a great drama. Love is not a thought. If love were a thought, it would have an opposite. Love is too small to be contained in thought. Love is not a belief. If…

Here and Now

Loch Ness you deliver time and again, a genuinely special space. So I have had the wonderful gift of amazing profound teachings this weekend on retreat. Made deep connections with people (both here and elsewhere) Spent time contemplating and learning what this human life is and a framework from which to take forward exploration. Offerings…

Traveling

Yesterday I began travels once more, this time to attend a mini retreat up in the hills of Loch Ness, this is my favourite part of Scotland, not only the vastness of space but the concept that this loch exists as a result of a fault line where two continents meet. I had always considered…

Well…

Ok there has been a delay with regard to some treatment I was expecting to have had already for my illness. I have twice tried to come away in the past few weeks, first time I was not really in the best position to leave home and the second time I was sharing a hostel…

The Passing Of The Lost Lands

~ by Stacie Amelia ~ An abyss falls within, an unwelcome weight, pulling down into darkness where the other lost wait. Each soul is crying in heaviness of grief, (There is hope though for that pain to fall away ...like a leaf) It takes time for each soul to find their own special way out,…

Making Art

Some behind the scenes work. Using my wheelchair past couple of days to help manage the fatigue caused by intermittent medication whilst I await news of my longer term treatment (the saga that seems endlessly in the hands of NHS finance, however I shall know for sure by tomorrow) I have to say the chair…

Seeds Planted

From seeds once planted So much has happened, so much experienced and processed. Life has a wonderful way of occurring regardless. I'm forever writing and rewriting this blog post and yet not publishing it. I have been in and out of heart and thought, everything keeps shifting, changing and I'm forever doing my level best…

Reflections On Ambiguity

"In transitions, we must learn to be still. Being still is, in part, about learning to be comfortable with ambiguity" ~ Janet Rebhan, Creative Options For this past while I have been considering different creative methods and trying my hand at some new approaches. I love working with clay, oil and acrylic paint and have…

Existential Beauty

This process between heart and mind can be pretty messy. I have always struggled with uncertainty and have needed things to make sense. But I have been learning these past few years that things mostly do not make sense, that there isn't always visible or easily detectable rhyme or reason. There is logic there however…

Best Laid Schemes O’ Mice An’ Men

It has been such a long time since I last posted, there have been many reasons for this not least a loss of confidence in my very being. After many attempts approaching this work I have found it challenging as it is asking me to both look deeper into human nature and therefore also deeper…

When Great Trees Fall

Just a share from a moments reflection on the experience of emotion. What is emotion? What does it mean? Are there key experiences that each of us share even if the way in which each of us make sense of our feelings differs? The offer of a poem and a quote. Poem This beautiful poem…

Potential?

After much contemplation I am thinking (not 100% certain just yet) of focusing on 'emotion' as the theme to explore this year or at least emotion being a big part of the theme. Emotion, we all experience it; we feel it, express it, embrace it, hide from it, distract from it by engaging in another form…

Poem – The Thief in the Night

~ by Stacie Amelia ~ Outside grew a storm in the midst of the night It's arrival insidious, its impact a fright. It grew above so selfish, so dark  It's rain dampened all connection and spark. Quietly in sleep it let itself in Came in the night carrying sacks full of sin. Slowly pouring its…

For Now

It has been a while since I have posted.  I have been quietly working away and feeling the enormity of the task I have set myself in exploring this art project.  I need time, however, to integrate all of what has arisen so far and to be realistic in recognising that it is more sensible…

The Heart Of It

Emotion It seems more often of late that wherever I turn I find a heart offering from the universe. It got me thinking about emotion, what is it? How does it affect us? How does one capture and express it? Dictionary definition Emotion is a strong feeling deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with…

Vulnerability 

Part of my life turning upside down was learning I have both a rare health condition called Transverse Myelitis as well as Multiple Sclerosis.  Neither condition can be cured, the Multiple Sclerosis may or may not get worse and I now need to help sustain my current health by injecting medication.  Having been someone whom…

Evolution Through Time

In earlier posts I have found myself contemplating the concept of time, that there has been a past which isn't happening now whilst simultaneously being aware that there is a moving on from right now, that there is no static.  People, circumstances, objects all change form, nothing is as it was and nothing will stay…

Adversity and When Enough Is Enough

I have had to hold and work with a lot in this life, as too have so many others.  There comes a point where we say enough! When we begin to chose what is important to our hearts,  we chose to work with and through what matters most dearly at the end of the day.…

In The Still Moments

In the still moments I find I am sitting with much grief.  Grief has to be the most painful emotional experience of them all, feeling attachment to something we hold dear whilst simultaneously knowing we can not be connected to that anymore.  The swirl fleeting between feeling the yearning for and the feeling of loss,…

Entertaining Angels Unawares

So I have returned home to have some down time and create some newly commissioned artwork.   On the journey back I was sat next to an interesting lady of 82.  Quite a character and happy to chat.  Often she chose poetry or phrases from the bible to convey her sense of meaning which was…

Connection

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking out new landscapes but in having new eyes.” ~ Marcel Proust This first trip has two purposes, to explore the 'beingness' of humanity and also to find some space within myself to be with my own soul both of which are to aid emotional deepening and…

Lewis, Harris, the open road and I

Travel around the islands was a challenge so in day two I hired a car and the choice offered vast opportunity.  The views along each road were breathtaking! The journey between Lewis & Harris had me driving high up in some very large hills and the were hills rolling for miles. I managed to spend…

All Aboard To Lewis and Harris 

Gorgeous day to have been on a ferry, managed to get some amazing photos of mainland Scotland.  Incredibly stunning!  To anyone whom hasn't been up to the very north of Scotland I invite you to add it to your travel list.  The further up you travel the more beautiful it is.   Decided this trip…

Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Still on the 'time' question I was thinking about my stay at Loch Ness these past couple of days.  The loch itself was formed upon a huge fault line where two parts of land have come together and are moving into each other, the sides are as steep as the mountains that overlook it and…

Question of Time in Ullapool 

For the first time I have experienced travel sickness, the plan for today was a trip to Durness' Smoo Cave however a short leg of the journey had me unsure.  Seems the roads are more twisty than I was prepared for. Adjusted the itinary and have settled for a day of down time in Ullapool,…

Goodnight from Drumnadrochit

As the sun sets on Drumnadrochit I am grateful for my day.  I spent some time on Loch Ness (which so far is my most favourite place when I need to find space) and had a visit to Fort Augustus to sit on the banks of the water.  Not much reflection this evening just a…