Covid Vaccination

So I had my second vaccine with the AstraZeneca (we shall keep blood clot news to the side as it is extremely rare and I know it’s all over the news, nothing more needing said). I’m feeling a little better regarding covid but far from complacent. I spoke in my previous ‘own lockdown experience’ post…

Thoughts On A Poem By Wayne Muller

The word humility, like the human, comes from humus, or earth. We are most human when we do no great things. We are not so important; we are simple dust and spirit—at best, loving midwives, participants in a process much larger than we. If we are quiet and listen and feel how things move, perhaps…

Exhibition Now Live

The Being Human In Lockdown 2021- 1 Year On exhibition is now live. This is reflective of British lockdown as this is where I reside but not dismissive of the experiences felt elsewhere in the world earlier. You will find the link under ‘Current Online Exhibitions’ in the menu above (also the link for the…

Visual Arts Association

Massive announcement!!! Tonight I was in utter surprise that my artwork was successfully selected to feature in such an international art exhibition! I’m humbled and shocked as a first timer applying to anything like this it has thrown me. I did not expect to be selected at all. The artwork selected is from ‘The Stories…

Plot Twist

I had grown to have a sense of what I would really enjoy doing with whatever time I had left of this life and was aiming toward it. This has deeply and profoundly shifted, quietly, slowly, unnoticeable. I have shifted. Well whatever ‘I’ is. Previously there were thoughts of travelling the world vastly, it’s not…

Lots Coming Up Soon

Having a little hiatus for health reasons, I’m good just recuperating from medicines that didn’t quite work for my body very well. There’s much coming up beginning in a month. Firstly I will be putting a call out for my ‘Being Human In Lockdown’ exhibition to see where people are at a year on. This…

The Unfinished Piece

I have been working on a particular painting since 2016. It began with a deep feeling but no idea where the piece was heading. I just knew something needed expressing. There wasn’t a knowing about anything just in the moment experiencing of an emotional world. The painting has been through many stages. I would engage…

Meaning Making

Today I was wonderfully reminded of a quote that was incorporated in an earlier post In Search of Meaning (ii), it still resonates deeply and was a delight to read once more. It is still as pertinent to this creative journey I am undertaking, so much so I wanted to share it once again. “The…

Music

Finally a breakthrough 🤲 After five years of not connecting with music properly something has truly shifted. Music was always a go to within, a place to feel and find voice for the inner world. Since diagnosis of MS in 2015 I had always thought that this loss of interest or connection to music was…

Covid-19 Experience

Pre Virus As you will know from previous posts I have been undergoing treatment with a chemotherapy tablet, this means that I have been sheilding. It has been 16 weeks now (4 whole months). I began ‘quarantining’ off my own back early in March (official lockdown began on the 23rd) The Virus Unbeknown to me…

Life Lessons

THE GRACE IN BEING HUMAN The Beginning Of What Felt Like The End “Ashes” a song by by Celine Dion https://youtu.be/CX11yw6YL1w It has been 5 years since my life and all of the hopes and dreams I had imagined were blown apart. A diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis and simultaneous relationship and a close friendship (for…

Our Map?

There has been so much that has occurred since the end of last year that has deeply and profoundly affected my heart and being. I don’t want to get into detail for now but it has me thinking about our lives and when we are no longer here. Where is the evidence of our story?…

Dawna Markova 💗

I will not die an unlived life.I will not live in fearof falling or catching fire.I choose to inhabit my days,to allow my living to open me,to make me less afraid,more accessible;to loosen my heartuntil it becomes a wing,a torch, a promise.I choose to risk my significance,to live so that which came to me as…

The Invitation

~ by Oriah Mountain Dreamer ~ It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know  if you will risk looking like a fool for love,…

Being Present

So it is that time of year again. I begin the follow up rounds chemo treatment in November. I feel prepared. This will be the last for a few more years (or at all). It is amazing how treatments for long term immune conditions are improving. I am wondering what it will bring this time…

Identity

I often reflect on the moment in Alice in Wonderland when the caterpillar asks 'who are you?'  It is such a big question. Her reply is "well I'm not sure, I'm not myself you see, I'm not the same person I was when I woke up this morning!" and " How puzzling all these changes are!…

In Search Of Meaning (ii)

Why here? Why now? Why at all? This blog post is more on a personal note than the others. It is more a pulling together of everything to date so I can consciously move forward into a fuller focus and commitment to this work. I hope naturally though that the posts that follow are more…

In Search of Meaning (i)

It has been an arduous task trying to define most precisely what I have been aiming towards with this work. I have spent many months in a sort of hibernation, tossing and turning towards understanding my real intention here. This is it. Fundamentally I am searching to understand how each of us make meaning of…

Who Am I?

"But who in the world am I" - Alice In WonderlandIn order to begin exploring the labels that we attach to our sense of identity we must begin by exploring what sense of identity is, asking what is it that 'I' am attached to and the 'stories' given behind that. This is the beginning of…

Taking A Step

Very recently a long time friend of mine turned up at the Community Art Studio with the above gifts. A little hand decorated box filled with some shamanic love. I have been lost for words other than thank you for some time. In this past week these have played a beautiful part in preparation for…

D-day

Finally today I begun my chemotherapy treatment. It has been a long time in the waiting, many hurdles none of my own making however the day has been and gone the first two pills taken. I have not been one for medicines as previously mentioned but I just have to believe this will make a…

Love

~ by Jeff Foster ~ Love is not a feeling. If love were a feeling, it would come and go, like in a great drama. Love is not a thought. If love were a thought, it would have an opposite. Love is too small to be contained in thought. Love is not a belief. If…

The Passing Of The Lost Lands

~ by Stacie Amelia ~ An abyss falls within, an unwelcome weight, pulling down into darkness where the other lost wait. Each soul is crying in heaviness of grief, (There is hope though for that pain to fall away ...like a leaf) It takes time for each soul to find their own special way out,…

Seeds Planted

From seeds once planted So much has happened, so much experienced and processed. Life has a wonderful way of occurring regardless. I'm forever writing and rewriting this blog post and yet not publishing it. I have been in and out of heart and thought, everything keeps shifting, changing and I'm forever doing my level best…

Vulnerability 

Part of my life turning upside down was learning I have both a rare health condition called Transverse Myelitis as well as Multiple Sclerosis.  Neither condition can be cured, the Multiple Sclerosis may or may not get worse and I now need to help sustain my current health by injecting medication.  Having been someone whom…

Adversity and When Enough Is Enough

I have had to hold and work with a lot in this life, as too have so many others.  There comes a point where we say enough! When we begin to chose what is important to our hearts,  we chose to work with and through what matters most dearly at the end of the day.…

In The Still Moments

In the still moments I find I am sitting with much grief.  Grief has to be the most painful emotional experience of them all, feeling attachment to something we hold dear whilst simultaneously knowing we can not be connected to that anymore.  The swirl fleeting between feeling the yearning for and the feeling of loss,…

Entertaining Angels Unawares

So I have returned home to have some down time and create some newly commissioned artwork.   On the journey back I was sat next to an interesting lady of 82.  Quite a character and happy to chat.  Often she chose poetry or phrases from the bible to convey her sense of meaning which was…

Connection

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking out new landscapes but in having new eyes.” ~ Marcel Proust This first trip has two purposes, to explore the 'beingness' of humanity and also to find some space within myself to be with my own soul both of which are to aid emotional deepening and…

Goodnight from Drumnadrochit

As the sun sets on Drumnadrochit I am grateful for my day.  I spent some time on Loch Ness (which so far is my most favourite place when I need to find space) and had a visit to Fort Augustus to sit on the banks of the water.  Not much reflection this evening just a…

Existential Moments

Arrived in Drumnadrochit last night to find I was invited to share a very special birthday moment with someone I had just met.  The backpackers lodge has just been taken over by new management (and their adorable baby), they had prepared a birthday cake for a member of staff and just as I arrived in…

The Journey Begins

The journey begun early and after some cinema in Glasgow I am now aboard my connecting bus to the first stop of this trip, Drumnadrochit.  I was surprised to discover I am travelling on a luxury bus! A nice flow of free refreshments, I'm feeling fortunate. Discussion so far has focused on the the natural…