What Is It That Exists?

©️

This poem was inspired by an interpersonal exchange this week.

Inadvertent Incognita

When you think, feel and know that you lived, there’s a story of what happened but nothing to prove that it did.

Nothing of substance than can be touched to say for sure ‘yes’, but you know it was there, you know! ‘yeah’?

Solid evidence is absent, you won’t find it. Not a trace nor even a tiny fragment.

Where is your proof they ask, is your life contrived? Where can you find it? From where did it derive?

When you felt what you felt and still you remember, but all that exists is only sense and no ember.

When there are traces of memory felt in your body, was it ever really there? Is there a hard copy?

When you cannot utter words because there is no definitive truth. You know it was there! but where is the proof?

Memory is all just sense of a truth. Ever evading, no map, no road, no objectivity that’s aiding.

Such grief in the soul because what was there is now missing. Elusive in essence, like some sort of omission.

Did you ever exist? Is your life true? Only those whom were there are those that knew.

Nothing to corroborate senses and feeling, no solid host. Was it ever there? I feel like a ghost.

Nothing is real they say, without objective evidence, so what was there?

hesitance…

~ By Stacie Amelia

Latest Exhibition (2019)

So my painting (unfinished at the time but now complete) was shown up at Shambellie House for exhibition from 15th-30th Nov as part of an add on to the Royal Photographic Society’s (RPS) exhibition
My piece was just one of a few that were exhibited from local artists. It was nice to be included, I feel very grateful 🙏 All works on display were incredible. Thank you so much to the New Abby Art Group.

Identity

I often reflect on the moment in Alice in Wonderland when the caterpillar asks ‘who are you?’ It is such a big question.

Her reply is “well I’m not sure, I’m not myself you see, I’m not the same person I was when I woke up this morning!” and ” How puzzling all these changes are! I’m Never sure what I’m going to be from one minute to another


In each moment of our lives we have some sense of identity but this identity is ever evolving or unfolding. We are conceived then we are born and grow until… read more here http://staciereflects.com/2019/08/25/identity/

In Search Of Meaning (ii)

Why here? Why now? Why at all?

This blog post is more on a personal note than the others. It is more a pulling together of everything to date so I can consciously move forward into a fuller focus and commitment to this work. I hope naturally though that the posts that follow are more widely reflective than this one. As mentioned in my initial blog post, with regard to this art project, I was gradually waking up into a world not of my choosing… read more here http://staciereflects.com/2019/08/12/in-search-of-meaning-ii/

Who Am I?

“But who in the world am I” – Alice In Wonderland

In order to begin exploring the labels that we attach to our sense of identity we must begin by exploring what sense of identity is, asking what is it that ‘I’ am attached to and the ‘stories’ given behind that. This is the beginning of a very interesting journey, I have had conversations with people about their emotions, their clothing, their families, their bodies, their health, their preferences and…read more here http://staciereflects.com/2018/11/20/but-who-in-the-world-am-i-alice-in-wonderland/

D-Day

Finally today I begun my chemotherapy treatment. It has been a long time in the waiting, many hurdles none of my own making however the day has been and gone the first two pills taken. I have not been one for medicines as previously mentioned but I just have to believe this will make a difference. I had been coping with my illness rather well and had been accepting and adapting along with it, even in times of needing to use a wheelchair. Lately however it has been a different story. I learned I had a small window before progressing into a Secondary Progressive diagnosis. It seems… read more here http://staciereflects.com/2018/11/10/d-day/

Well…

Ok there has been a delay with regard to some treatment I was expecting to have had already for my illness. I have twice tried to come away in the past few weeks, first time I was not really in the best position to leave home and the second time I was sharing a hostel room with a lady whom was extremely sick throughout the night, I decided not to go on with the trip and returned home. So third time lucky…..or was it? My bus arrived into Glasgow 20 minutes late meaning that I was two minutes late for my train… However I am quite familiar with these travelling unexpected adjustments now… read more here http://staciereflects.com/2018/09/01/well/

Seeds Planted

From Seeds Once Planted

So much has happened, so much experienced and processed. Life has a wonderful way of occurring regardless. I’m forever writing and rewriting this blog post and yet not publishing it. I have been in and out of heart and thought, everything keeps shifting, changing and I’m forever doing my level best to understand and have a sense of things. I have come to the conclusion that this is impossible and I would do best just being and letting be.

Read more here… http://staciereflects.com/2018/08/18/seeds-planted/

Reflections on Ambiguity

In transitions, we must learn to be still. Being still is, in part, about learning to be comfortable with ambiguity” ~ Janet Rebhan, Creative Options For this past while I have been considering different creative methods and trying my hand at some new approaches. I love working with clay, oil and acrylic paint and have reconnected after a long time with pencil and ink drawing. Digital art, photographic blending, mixed media involving paint, ink and drawing and altered surreal images are also a favourite approach of mine. However I have begun experimenting with… read more here http://staciereflects.com/2018/08/14/reflections-on-ambiguity/

Existential Beauty

This process between heart and mind can be pretty messy. I have always struggled with uncertainty and have needed things to make sense. But I have been learning these past few years that things mostly do not make sense, that there isn’t always visible or easily detectable rhyme or reason. There is logic there however if we look deeper but it won’t stand out or fit easily into the perception of… read more here http://staciereflects.com/2017/12/26/existential-beauty-2/

The Heart Of It

Emotion

It seems more often of late that wherever I turn I find a heart offering from the universe. It got me thinking about emotion, what is it? How does it affect us? How does one capture and express it?

Dictionary definition

Emotion is a strong feeling deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. A sensation. An instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge.

Scientific perception

“An emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioral or expressive response.” (Hockenbury & Hockenbury, 2007) Emotion is experienced by all sentient life. For us humans however, emotion, as well as being a physiological phenomenon, is subjective and although there are (as believed) basic universal emotions (e.g. angry,’ ‘happy,”sad,’) regardless background or culture no two people have the exact same experience. That although we label emotion to make sense of it in a social context it is very much a unique, multi-dimensional and complex experience… read more here http://staciereflects.com/2016/10/05/the-heart-of-it/

Welcome!

This is the beginning of a brand new website so please bare with me whilst I build it up to be more singing and dancing, For now there is this page and eventually all will fill out. Thank you for your patience. If you are looking for a little bit of background please do pop over to my blog www.staciereflects.com. Alternatively you can find some videos of my artwork work in process on Tik Tok here https://vm.tiktok.com/J8agVH8/, new to me so bare with 🙏